Holy God, I want to be willing to forgive
but I do not know if I want to ask for the will to forgive,
for I may not be ready.
I am not ready for my heart to soften,
I am not ready to be vulnerable again,
not ready to see that there is humanity in the eyes of another
or that the one who hurt me may also have cried.
I am not yet ready for the journey.
I am not yet ready to be committed to the path.
I am at the prayer before the prayer of forgiveness.
Grant me the will to want to forgive,
grant it to me, not yet, but soon.
Can I even form the words,
Do I dare to see the hurt that I have caused?
Is there a place where we can meet?
You and me,
the place in the middle, the no man’s land,
where we straddle the lines;
where you are right
and I am right, too,
and both of us are wrong and wronged.
Can we meet there?
And look for the place where the path begins,
the path that ends when we forgive…
( by Desmond and Mpho Tutu)